Building Body Confidence During the Teen Years

The rapid physical change and concern about how the changes are perceived by the others that occurs in the teenage years, combine to make body confidence really delicate in the teenage years. Parents and caregivers have a great part in influencing how teens handle this and minor and consistent decisions can make a great impact.

Language around bodies shapes self-perception early

Adults discourse on bodies, their bodies and those of others and the manner they do this becomes inculcated into teenagers more than a majority of parents understand. It is best to avoid critical comment about weight, shape, or appearance, not just of the teen but also in relation to other people and this will create an atmosphere in which a teen will develop his or her self-conduct less likely to become scathingly criticizing.

Comparisons, even well-intentioned ones, tend to backfire

When a teen makes comparisons with their siblings, friends or peers, whether in passing or good intent, the comparative anxiety that is at the root of the body-confidence issue is absolutely cemented. Having discussions about the way a teen feels, as opposed to how they compare themselves to the rest of the world is more likely to be constructive.

Clothing and garments that actually fit well matter

Ill-fitting clothing, including bras and undergarments, can be a genuine source of physical discomfort that compounds emotional self-consciousness. Ensuring a teen has access to properly fitted, comfortable options, whether that’s finding the right teen bra or clothing that fits their current body well, removes one practical source of daily discomfort that can otherwise chip away at confidence.

Normalize the wide range of typical development

Without intending to, teens from a young age will start comparing themselves with other teens, and quickly see that there is a wide range of variation in timing and pattern of physical development. It is essential to reiterate the idea that the idea that it is not normal to be different than your friends is completely normal and can be used to dismantle the impulse to assume that being different than your friends is a sign that something is wrong.

Encourage activities centered on capability, not appearance

Participation in sports, art or other activities that develop a feeling of competence and achievement instead of the value of appearance provides teens with an alternative source of self-esteem that is not completely dependent on how they appear. This type of competence based confidence is more resilient compared to the confidence based on appearance only.

Model healthy self-talk as an adult

Adolescents learn so much when they observe how adults surrounding them discuss their bodies. A model of self-critical talk used by the adult about his/her appearance, even in a casual way, tends to teach a teenager that such self-criticism is normal and even required.

Address social media’s role directly

Since so much time is dedicated to social media by many teens, the more straightforward, open dialogue about curated, filtered material and unrealistic comparisons can be useful in developing a more critical, resilient outlook on the images teens are continually exposed to.

Consistency matters more than any single conversation

It cannot be a result of a single conversation that will make a teen feel more confident about his body, rather, it is a process that is developed over time with regular messages, the choices that are comfortable to make, and the space in which a teenager feels comfortable and accepted as he is. Little and repeated attempts with time, in general, are much more likely to bring a difference than one big action.

Helping a teen to feel more confident in their body in these developmental years is not necessarily about the resolution of the problem, but rather about reinforcing, both in words and in daily life decisions, that their own value is not tied to how more closely their developing body is to any ideal.